Monday, 25 April 2011

How to Misjudge Life (In Two Easy Modules)

Now, as a very sociable person of many varied friendships, over the some might say small amount of years that I have spent on this fair planet I have accumulated a fair amount of off-the-wall relationships, with friends of all sorts of ages from all sorts of places, the majority of whom have never met, never talked, and probably never will, and if you asked me why this is the case, I could easily reply in two ways.

Firstly, I could reply with the answer that my pretentious, out-of-body ego would revel in, informing you that I've got such an exotic fruit-bowl of friends due to the fact that I'm an eccentric socialite who connects with people on a different level to most people, or that I choose my friends to spiritually enhance my lifestyle and meta-harmoniously expand my social horizons, or some such post-graduate bull$h!7.

Or, I could reply honestly, with the simple fact that I know so many different people because I'm a lucky sod who's been to a few too many social gatherings.

But the fact is, this blog has attracted people from all areas of my life to my writings, people who I never expected are reading every post and enjoying it as much as I enjoy writing them, and it's such a disproportionate matrimony of cross-Atlantic acquaintances, people whom I've bonded with in once of a lifetime trips or performances or simply people who I talk to everyday, that I thought I should dedicate this post to... a small and restricted scope of my audience.

I'm doing my GCSE's at the moment, an educational toil that my star-spangled readers may or may not be familiar with, and to be quite frank, should probably be quite thankful for that. Although this isn't for them, I know that quite a few of my readers are approaching their exams at the moment, and are all (Or at least a few) are working their absolute socks off in lieu of the ever-increasing threat of unemployment, poverty and eventual death by previous points.

Fact is, I am not wise. I am young, stupid, not a mystic, genius, or particularly talented or clever in any useful region, so before you accuse me of over-speaking myself that is, but this is my blog, so I'm going to say what I'm thinking. These exams aren't the be all and end all. A million and one people have done averagely on their GCSE's and not done horribly out of them, and from my experience, if you can get a decent job at our age (Believe me, me and quite a few others have) then you can surely survive with C's?

Don't fail your exams, that might suck emotionally, but for the same reasons, don't over-stress yourself. Wouldn't you rather chill and get a B than over revise and cram yourself and go mental when you only get a B+? Is it really worth it for a piece of paper that will swiftly become irrelevant when fate comes to put you in the most obscure job possible?

If you have a 25% chance of being homeless, and 25% of being a millionaire, wouldn't you much rather be in with the happy 50%? I don't know, it kind of depends on your outlook.

Just don't die, you're not even 18.

- Lewis


  1. Riveting tale, chap.

  2. Stuff revision, I've done none yet... shit!

  3. Drop the illusion that you are posh.
    You described yourself as 'painfully posh', if you were painfully posh your brother would be a baron, not a Chav who does coke.
    You also wouldn't get drunk in skate parks and be part of a heavy metal band. You'd get slightly tipsy in your country home when your family has the prince of Denmark around and you'd spend most of your time hunting or horse riding.

    Do you think adding extra adjectives and using a strange vocabulary (most of which doesn't make sence in the context it is in anyway) makes you sound intelligent? Well I hate to break it to you - it doesn't. You should also revise your sentence structure!

  4. Aha, the 'illusion' that I'm posh, that's a first!

    I describe myself as painfully posh because of my stupid voice getting funny looks from chavs, and as for a baronly brother, I definitely don't have one but you really do need to re-do your research on that one.

    Drunk in skate parks? When did that happen? And as for a heavy metal band well... what the fuck?

    And as for my adding extra adjectives - thats how I speak? And as for not sounding context I was admittedly inane on painkillers at the time of writing this.

    So if you're unimpressed by the contents of my blog, completely jumped up on inanely stupid information about my life and family and quite happy with your utterly pointless little attempt on my ego, you can go jump on one.

    Thanks for reading!

  5. lewis, i do wonder why u write these rambles.. but it does conclude tht u are mad.. very much so, but tht is why i luv ya xx

  6. Wow. I like you and I like this. Take that whichever/whatever way you want, but you are awesome.

    Peas out :P