Thursday, 20 October 2011

It's the 20th of October - you know what that means!

Happy International Day of the Air Traffic Controller!

I watched United '83 to celebrate. Gaddafi died. Silly dictators, always dying.

So today was pretty awesome, as it pretty much entailed me winning at life completely by accident. Don't worry, I will actually tell you. Why would I be here otherwise?

In college, there's this thing called a contract, and it's a very bad thing which you get if you suck at handing in work or you're an asshole or whatever reason, and it basically means that you have to be improved or you'll be kicked off your course or out of college.

Note: I suck at doing homework. Literally, I never ever did it in school.
On the bright side, it left more time for alcoholism.

So that was a bad habit, as was revealed by my tutor yesterday afternoon when she said that apparently I hadn't been handing in work for my Media course and that I might have to be put on contract.

Naturally, I s**t bricks and spent my entire first period today catching up, and then I saw my homework for today's lesson - Bring in a magazine. I kind of crapped myself for a second, until I realised that I'm an amazing individual and make a habit of carrying an art-house magazine about meat on my person at all times.

So I get into my lesson, and my teacher goes batsh*t crazy, and everyone who hasn't brought in a magazine to analyse has to sit in silence in another room, write an apology, get shouted at by every teacher on the media team, and do all their work. Meanwhile I get to sit in class with 4 gurlz and get one-on-one tutoring on the coursework brief that I'm choosing.

Minor fist pump.

Then my teacher see's that I've bought in an art-house magazine about meat, and she goes on a tirade about how amazing she thinks it is and how much of a good choice it was, completely oblivious to the fact that I had it on me by pure luck. She then takes it and scans it so they can use my choice as a good example.

Slightly more eccentric fist pump.

Then I had a free so I met some new people (As you do in such an amazing college as mine) who had awesome hair and we went and got donuts and Pringles and sat on a roundabout and had a picnic.

Like a boss.

Then I had film, and realised shortly before my lesson that I foolishly had forgotten to bring in the DVD that I'm doing for my coursework (American Psycho, highly recommend it). So I go into my lesson and go up to my teacher (Who bears a similarity to Peter Capaldi in both looks and voice, so it's quite scary when he gets annoyed) and look as solemn as possible and explain how I've forgotten my DVD and surprisingly, he looks up with a smile and says:
'That's okay, your 3-page plan was so in depth that you can probably write your essay without the DVD!'

Major fist pump.

And I felt really good, so I wrote 500 more words than I was supposed to, listened to some Twin Atlantic and then skipped home where I had haddock.

Omnomnomnomnom. Yellow fish.

So yeah, cool story bro. In other news, my amazing new project is almost ready to be announced, so buy some nappies or something just in case you wet the bed in excitement.

I know I will.


  1. Three things that never cease to be awesome: Alcoholism, American Psycho, and Twin Atlantic.

  2. I always do my homework. Always. How did you get away with not doing it for so long?

    Anyways, sounds like you had a nice, albeit lucky day!

  3. At one point I held the record for most detentions in one subject haha.

  4. I am going to make you really uncool now Lewis. Thank you for visiting my blog!!!!!!Wow!!!!!!!!!!

    PS they don't make teachers like they used to, but on the upside, they don't make students or alcoholism like they used to either.